Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
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went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
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It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
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