last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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