Rock
Scissors
Fuck
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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