So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
