just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Randomize
