You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
