farters have to be the big spoon...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
