I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize
