If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she was petting her beer can
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
being pregnant is like rehab
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Randomize