remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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