i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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