marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
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It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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