i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
