brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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