if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
