I'm so fucking centered right now
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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