Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
