Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
