I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
