if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
