So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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