Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
