Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
