True but thats because hes a fetus.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
