Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
