i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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