vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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