who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
The struggles of a small town man whore
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
