i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
