i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
