If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Randomize
