so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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