So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
