her vagine was all disorganized.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
