Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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