thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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