How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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