Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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