Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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