This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
