Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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