dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i think i have two assholes
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
