how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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