I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?