i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
