i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
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