Taylor Swift is so right about you.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
