I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
