I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
