Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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