Having a random hookup so left but love u
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
