i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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