I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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