More tranny stories later!
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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