Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
