a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
