Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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