Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
