I'm lost and stupid without you.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
bring money and cleavage
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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