So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
