The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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