Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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