I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
