I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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