Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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