so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
